Marriage as a Sacred Covenant: A Biblical Perspective on Divorce and Remarriage

Introduction

In today's world, marriage has often lost its sacredness, being reduced to a mere contract defined by convenience and temporal concerns. This erosion of the sanctity of marriage is disheartening, as it stands in stark contrast to God's intended design. Marriage, according to the Bible, is a covenant—an enduring and sacred agreement. This article explores the biblical foundations of marriage, the grounds for divorce, and the guidelines for remarriage, emphasizing that marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment.

The Sacred Covenant of Marriage

God's plan for marriage, as outlined in the Bible, is that it should be a covenant. In the ancient Hebrew tradition, a covenant, or "berit," was a binding contract with both religious and legal implications. It was the closest, most enduring, and most sacred of all agreements. As Malachi 2:14 states, marriage is meant to be a blood covenant. In a biblical marriage, a man and a woman become one person, not merely two individuals sharing a household. The concept of separate possessions does not apply, just as one arm does not harm the other, nor does one leg detach itself from the other.

Marriage is established by God as a sacred covenant between a man and a woman. Genesis 2:24 highlights the unity and permanence intended in marriage: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This unity is so crucial that it is compared to Christ's relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27).

Biblical Examples of Covenants

To understand the sacredness of the marriage covenant, we can look at several biblical covenants:

  1. Noahic Covenant (Genesis 9:8-17): God promised never to destroy the earth again with a flood. The rainbow serves as a reminder of this promise.
  2. Abrahamic Covenant (Genesis 12:1-3, 15:18-21, 17:1-14): God promised to make Abraham a great nation, bless his descendants, and give them the land of Canaan. The sign of this covenant is circumcision.
  3. Mosaic Covenant (Exodus 19-24): This covenant, made through Moses on Mount Sinai, included the Ten Commandments and laws for the Israelites, outlining their responsibilities and God's promise to protect and bless them if they obeyed.
  4. Davidic Covenant (2 Samuel 7:12-16): God promised King David that one of his descendants would establish an eternal kingdom, ultimately fulfilled in Jesus Christ.
  5. New Covenant (Jeremiah 31:31-34): Prophesied a future covenant written on hearts, realized through Jesus Christ, offering forgiveness and a personal relationship with God.

These covenants illustrate God's faithfulness and provide valuable lessons about the nature of covenants and the responsibilities that come with them. Reflecting on these can help us understand the depth and commitment required in a marriage covenant.

Divorce: A Last Resort

When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16: "I hate divorce, says the Lord God." This underscores that, while the Bible provides grounds for divorce, it does not mean that God desires divorce to happen. Instead of asking, "Is this grounds for divorce?" the question should often be, "Is this grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and counseling?"

The Bible outlines two specific grounds for divorce: sexual immorality (Matthew 5:32; 19:9) and abandonment by an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:15). Even in these cases, divorce is not required or encouraged. Instead, confession, forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration should be the first steps. Divorce should be viewed as a last resort, not a first recourse.

Understanding Sexual Immorality

Sexual immorality, as described in the Bible, encompasses a range of behaviors that violate the sanctity of the marital bed. This includes adultery, fornication, homosexuality, and other forms of sexual behavior outside the bounds of a biblically defined marriage between one man and one woman. Jesus specifically mentions sexual immorality as a valid ground for divorce in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9. This underscores the severity with which God views sexual sin and its capacity to destroy the trust and unity that marriage is meant to embody. However, even in cases of sexual immorality, God's preference is for repentance, forgiveness, and the restoration of the marital relationship.

Understanding Abandonment by a Non-Believer

Abandonment by an unbelieving spouse is another biblically permissible ground for divorce. In 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul writes, "But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace." This passage suggests that if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage, the believing spouse is not bound to the marriage covenant. However, it is crucial to note that this allowance for divorce is specific to cases where the unbelieving spouse initiates the departure. This provides a way for believers to live in peace, acknowledging the complexity and pain of being deserted by an unbelieving partner.

Additional Grounds for Divorce

While the Bible explicitly states the grounds for divorce as sexual immorality and abandonment, there are other situations where believers might consider divorce. These include spousal abuse (emotional or physical), child abuse, addiction to pornography, substance abuse, criminal activity, and financial mismanagement, such as gambling addiction. However, these are not explicitly stated in the Bible as grounds for divorce.

In such cases, separation with the aim of repentance and restoration is often the recommended first step. It is crucial to protect oneself and one's children from harm, but immediate divorce may not always be necessary. By stating that these are not explicit biblical grounds for divorce, it does not mean that one should stay in a harmful situation. Separation for safety and healing is appropriate.

God's Desire for Reconciliation

God's plan for a damaged marriage is reconciliation, even when there are grounds for divorce. The focus should be on forgiveness, restoration, and counseling. Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness in Matthew 18:21-22, where He instructs Peter to forgive "seventy times seven" times, indicating boundless forgiveness. Paul echoes this in Colossians 3:13, urging believers to forgive as the Lord has forgiven them.

Reconciliation is a central theme in God's relationship with humanity. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19 speaks of the ministry of reconciliation given to us by Christ, emphasizing that just as God reconciled us to Himself through Christ, we are called to reconcile with one another. Ephesians 4:32 further supports this by urging believers to be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other just as in Christ, God forgave them.

The story of Hosea and Gomer in the Old Testament provides a vivid illustration of God's desire for reconciliation. Despite Gomer's unfaithfulness, Hosea is commanded by God to reconcile with her, symbolizing God's unwavering commitment to His covenant with Israel (Hosea 3:1-3). This narrative exemplifies the extent of God's forgiveness and His desire for restoring broken relationships.

Differentiating Grounds for Divorce and Remarriage

There is a distinction between biblical grounds for divorce and biblical grounds for divorce and remarriage. Some interpret the grounds for divorce (sexual immorality and abandonment) as the only grounds for remarriage. Others allow for divorce without remarriage in certain cases. This interpretation should be approached with caution to avoid presuming upon the Word of God.

The Bible addresses remarriage after divorce with specific guidelines. The Lord God of Israel emphasizes in Malachi 2:16 that He hates divorce, reinforcing that marriage is meant to be a lifelong commitment.

The Bible permits remarriage in two cases: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. In the case of sexual immorality, the innocent spouse is permitted to remarry, but the guilty party is not. For abandonment by an unbelieving spouse, the believer is free to remarry as they are not bound by the marriage covenant.

It is essential to note that reconciliation should always be sought first. Even in cases of adultery, forgiveness and rebuilding the marriage are possible through God's grace. However, if the unfaithful spouse is unrepentant and continues in sin, divorce and remarriage are permitted.

Embracing God's Grace After Divorce and Remarriage

It is crucial to remember that God's love and grace extend to those who have been divorced or divorced and remarried. Romans 8:1 assures us that "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." This means that no matter our past, God’s grace is sufficient. Repentance is essential for salvation, as 1 John 1:9 states, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." This applies to the sins of our past and those committed in ignorance before knowing Christ.

However, as born-again Christians, we are called to live in obedience to God’s Word, not taking His grace for granted. Hebrews 10:26-27 warns, "If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment." This underscores the difference between sins committed in ignorance and knowingly sinning against God without repentance. God’s grace is immense, but it calls us to genuine repentance and a transformed life.

Conclusion

In conclusion, while divorce is a reality in our broken world, the Bible provides clear guidance on its grounds and emphasizes reconciliation and forgiveness. Kevin and Jennifer, the writers of this article, have both experienced divorce and remarriage. We are not here to pass judgment on others for being in the position we were once in and failed. Instead, we seek to offer biblical wisdom, compassion, and support. By embracing God’s grace and striving for obedience to His Word, we can honor the sacred covenant of marriage and reflect His love and faithfulness in our lives.

About the Authors

The majority of the articles on this page are the collective works of Kevin and Jennifer Lanham. They operate Veal Station Ministries, Veal Station Market, and Amish Heart together, combining their expertise in various fields. Both are practicing Biblical Marriage and Family Counselors. Kevin brings a wealth of training and ministerial experience from a wide range of Biblical denominations and has studied through multiple seminaries, including Dallas Theological Seminary, The Master's Seminary, Nations University, and The Hebrew University of Jerusalem. Jennifer holds several Biblical and Biblical Counseling certifications and is a knowledgeable and experienced aromatherapist and medical massage therapist with a nursing background. Both have experienced divorce and remarriage and offer their insights with empathy and understanding.

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